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May 26th, 2012
07:23 pm
Sajan bin rattan hoyiaan vadiyaan
This is a beautiful poem by Shah Hussain and rendered very soulfully by Barkat Sidhu. I don’t remember how I came across it (had never listened to Barkat Sidhu before)–probably I just stumbled upon it on some website. Liked it the very first time I heard and since then I must have played it over a hundred times. And I don’t think I am over it yet – this is one of those songs (like Pyaar bhare do sharmeele nain, Piya ghar aavenge and Mere babaji nihaare aasmaan se) for which I seem to have yearned for since eternity. The first time I listened to it, it almost felt like a gentle rain on my parched soul. And since then I have craved for it even more. Occasionally when I am at work or somewhere out of my home, I feel a sudden urge to soak myself in this song; however, the song is not yet in my portable music player and thus bereft, I feel a longing, same as that expressed and felt in the song.
Ranjha jogi main jogiani
Kamli kar kar chhadiyaan
Sajan bin raattan hoyiaan vadiyaan
Kahe Hussain faqeer sayin da
Daaman tere lagiyaan
Sajan bin raattan hoyiaan vadiyaan
Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: Sajan bin rattan hoyiaan wadiyaan
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March 22nd, 2012
05:25 pm
Cooked my meal yesternight and thoroughly enjoyed it. This is the first time I have cooked for myself after leaving Netherlands and it made me wistfully nostalgic of my stay in Amsterdam. I had enjoyed my time there, despite the ordeals I would go through, day after day, to prepare my food. And in the hindsight, in spite of all the troubles and tribulations, it does feel like it was quite a bit of fun.
While I was there, cooking food would be one of the main agendas for almost every day as going out to eat was not a viable option for various reasons. And it used to be such an intense struggle – I had to fight my laziness first – I would often delay preparing food until my starved body could no longer bear the pangs of hunger. Then I had to fight my inhibitions about going to kitchen – I was often too worried about causing any inconvenience to my house mates through my tedious cooking. It was a common kitchen for about 12 people, most of whom were Dutch, and for them, the elaborate style of Indian cooking was somewhat amusing - not that they ever complained about it. And yes, they found my rice cooker a scary piece of equipment – the cooker’s shrill whistle would always startle them, causing me immense embarrassment. Hence, I would often try to time my meal preparation to the hour when kitchen would most likely be empty. I would first go for a short reconnoiter and if it was all clear, I would begin my job. And then it would be a battle against time - I would try to rush through my preparation before anyone else visited kitchen, but given that I was a novice in this field of cooking, it would often be a stiff task. If with some luck on my side and some “deft cooking”, I managed to wrap up my work in time, I would pat myself on the back for the successful completion of this “secret” mission, breathing a huge sigh of relief.
And last but not the least, what would keep weighing on my mind was that I had to use some utensils which belonged to others (which was actually a common practice in our kitchen). While I had tried to get all the necessary utensils for myself, my stock was still not enough. And since mine was going to be a rather short stay, I didn’t want to spend unnecessarily on stuffs, which I couldn’t carry back. Hence, I had to use some utensils, which belonged either to the common pool or to others. And it would make me a bit uncomfortable but also more responsible. Hence, even after the food was ready and I would be dying to devour it, I would have to hold myself back for the next 10-15 minutes as I would go about washing the utensils, cleaning up the platform and restoring the kitchen to its erstwhile glory.
And then it would be just me and my hard-earned meal, with everything and everyone else taken care of. I would go back to my room, serve the steaming food on my plate, patiently top it up with pickle and “ghee”, which maa and didi had so lovingly packed up for me, open a can of coke and prepare a playlist of my favorite songs, which would vary depending on my mood. And what would follow was a period of absolute bliss as I would savor every morsel of food and every sip of coke. Brief though it would be, it used to be highly gratifying, with every meal itching itself into a small but sweet memory in my mind.
And yesterday, I felt something similar – the same intoxicating pleasure of tasting a painstakingly, albeit joyously, prepared meal, sans all the hesitation and apprehensions, which used to precede it when I was in Amsterdam. With no worry about anyone else, I prepared my meal the way I wanted, took all the time I needed, used rice cooker without any inhibitions, added the spices I liked and indulged myself in every conceivable way during the cooking process. Once done, I poured myself a glass of coke, served the food and played my favorite ghazals and songs and then slowly enjoyed the fruit of my labor. It was a yet another satisfying experience and hopefully, in days to come, I would continue to occasionally pamper myself and relish some old memories and make a few new ones.
Current Mood:  cheerful
Current Music: Mera ishq sufiyana
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June 25th, 2011
05:45 pm
Watched Arif Lohar and Meesha Safi’s rendition of Jugni ji (Alif allah chambe di booti) for Coke Studio Pakistan. It was an absolute delight watching their performance. I would rank this video right next to some of my favorite videos of Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. I hardly understood the song, but the music was so enthralling l that I completely lost myself in it. And it was one of those few songs on which I spontaneously broke into a dance. What made the video more special was that both Arif Lohar and Meesha Safi themselves seemed to be genuinely enjoying their singing. The beautiful sparkle in their eyes and the earnest smiles on their faces as they sang did make you feel that the music was flowing straight from their soul. I have been watching this video again and again and it’s so intoxicating that each time I watch it, I find myself breaking into a jig. What a blessing it would be to watch such a performance in person!
Current Mood: enthralled
Current Music: Jugniji
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February 15th, 2011
07:31 am
Qatta keeje na talluq ham se
Kuchh nahin to adaavat hi sahi
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July 3rd, 2010
02:23 pm - Tum toofaan samajh paaoge?
Tum toofaan samajh paaoge?
Geele baadal, peele rajkan
Sookhe patte, rookhe tringhan
Le kar chalta karta har-har
Iska gaan samajh paaoge
Tum toofan samajh paaoge?
Gandh bhara yeh mand pawan tha
Lehrata isse madhuvan tha
Sehsa iska toot gaya jo swapna mahaan
Tum toofan samajh paaoge?
Tod madod vitap latikaayein
Noch khasot kusum kalikaayein
Jata hai agyaat disha ko
Hato vihangam ud jaaoge
Tum toofan samajh paaoge?
- Harivansh Rai Bachchan
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March 6th, 2010
07:58 pm
This is one of my favorite Mukesh non-film songs. Am listening to it after years. I still do not have this song. It's not a popular number and doesn't seem to be readily available on internet. Thankfully, I found a website where I can listen to it.
It's a beautiful piece of poetry. The second stanza evokes angelic imagery in my mind. These days, I love to take a walk at night, wistfully looking at the moon. This song captures some of those emotions that I feel. I do miss that special company and yet I feel it's best that way.
Aaj gagan se chanda utara
Aa gaya meri baahon mein
Apalak dekhun, keh na sakun kuchh
Khoyi raat nigaahon mein
Cham cham chamke path taaron ka
Chham chham karta kaun chala
Sapno ki tasveer si kheench gayi
Door gagan ki raahon mein
Aaj gagan se chanda utara
Aa gaya meri baahon mein
Jaane kis dhun mein deewaana
Madhushala ke dwaar pe aaye
Pyala chhoota haath se uske
Bikhara husn ke paaon mein
Aaj gagan se chanda utara
Aa gaya meri baahon mein
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August 12th, 2009
11:37 pm
We had a fun quiz in our Management Accounting lecture today. Teams of 3 to 4 people were formed. Ma’m would show a question on the slide and the group raising its hand first would get a chance to answer it first. If you answered it correctly, you got +1 else you got -1. Finally, the top three groups would get bonus marks of 2, 1.5 and 1 respectively, which would be added to their total score after end-term. It was almost like a buzzer round of the quizzes I have seen on TV.
It was, indeed, a lot of fun and was probably one of the best lecture sessions that I have had at IIM Lucknow. It was very exciting, with adrenaline running high, as all teams were trying to outpace each other in solving the questions and then answering it. However, attempting to answer first, most of the teams ended up with negative scores. Thankfully, our team kept its cool and we finally won the contest. Though scores might suggest that it was a close contest, our team stood out not only because of the highest score, but also because we attempted maximum questions and were able to come back in spite of falling behind mid-way.
I am really happy about our win today and am finding it difficult to hide my happiness. Some people may have noticed that I am smiling a lot more today. I had a disastrous mid-term and hence, this small gift has come at the right time. It has boosted my confidence and renewed my interest in lectures. Hope I continue to get such opportunities to feel happy.
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April 8th, 2009
09:36 pm
There are wild swings in my mood these days. Before going to Bangalore two weeks back, I was quite upbeat about days to come. Things seemed to be looking up and I had begun to think that the worst was over. I had already suffered enough and I thought that I would soon get my share of happiness. However, a day after I came back to Bombay, I got my first shock. I had pinned a lot of hope on something materializing and it was a rude jolt for me to find that it had not worked out. I felt really frustrated - I was still not able to digest this failure. However, I had something else to look forward to and hence, the first setback didn’t pinch as much as it would have. I still felt good and was happy that I was learning something useful and was also confident about my prospects. Friday was the day and it went reasonably well. Of course, initially I was very unhappy with myself and but later on, I thought it wasn’t that bad. In fact, I was quite relaxed over the weekend. But come Monday and I was going to begin my downhill journey again. I was desperately waiting for something and every time the phone rang, my eyes would lit up, only to be droop down immediately after wards. As the day progressed, my hopes began to dwindle and I thought to myself – one more scar on my heart. The next day was even worse – I never felt so down ever. My heart was aching badly, I saw an enemy in everyone around me, I wanted to destroy others, I wanted my revenge. Today morning, I decided that I should disappear, run away to a very far-off place. I felt I was a big loser and doomed to be one for all my life. I felt very miserable and this time, I was angry with myself for ruining my own life. With these painful thoughts incessantly hammering my mind, I decided to seek rescue in sleep. No sooner did I lie down than I fell asleep and slept for hours as if I had been drugged. I kept dreaming all the time – there was just too much to dream of, none of which was soothing. Strange people, unpleasant situations, unkind words – all these continued to suck the life out of me. I woke up after a really sapping sleep and checked my mail. Realized that all was not lost yet. Began to feel better. Soon, discovered some other avenues of hopes as well. Am feeling optimistic again. But I am also scared, in fact, very scared. Is this yet another false hope? Do I have it in me to last another onslaught? I am begging for mercy. Lift me out of this dark pit, let me breathe freely, let me see the world again, give me a life.
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April 6th, 2009
05:51 pm
From "Kisi Taarikh Ko" (Amrita-Imroz ke Prem-Patra). Have broken the letter into paragraphs for better readability.
Mere Vishwas!
Tumhare milan ne mere kalam ki chingari ko shola bana diya. Kal Nepal ne us kalami aag ka phoolon se satkaar kiya aur mujhe jitne phool mile, maine saare ke saare tumhari yaad par chadha diye.
“Hijra ki is raat mein kuchh roshni si aa rahi...” meri is kavita mein tumhari yaad ki batti lapak-lapak kar jal rahi thi. Raat ko saadhe gyaarah baje tak isi roshni ka zikra chalta raha. Saath hi kitni hi Nepali, Hindi aur Bengali kavitaayein bhi jagmag karti rahin.
Ek faarsi ka sher bhi tha jiska bhav tha “Registaan mein ham dhoop se chamakti hui ret ko paani samajhkar bhagte hain, dhokha khate hain, tadapte hain. Par log kehte hain, ret ret hai, pani nahin ban sakti, aur kuchh sayaane log us ret ko pani samajhne ki galati nahin karte. We log sayaane honge, lekin main kehta hun, jo ret ko paani samajhne ki galti nahin karte, unki pyaas mein hi koi kami hogi, unke hothon par wah shiddat nahin hogi”.
Sach, mere Jeeti! Mujhe wah sayaanapan nahin chahiye. Mujhe apni pyaas mubaarak hai, chahe saari umra wah mujhe registaan mein bhatkaati rahe. Mere Jeeti ko, mere pyaas ke chhalaawe ko, meri saari yaad pahunche.
Aashi
27/1/1960
Kathmandu
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January 31st, 2009
06:56 pm - Sapne
Dhoondh raha hun kuchh sapne
Apne sapne ke liye
Kuchh hare,neele aur gulabi sapne
Kuchh meethe aur gudgudate sapne
Kuchh jeete aur hanste sapne
Kuchh bhole aur bachkaane sapne
Kabhi na khatm hone wale sapne
Taki kho jaaun inhi sapnon ki duniya mein
Apne sapne ke saath
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